Saturday, 14 July 2012
I can honestly say that I'm not a self-righteous person. I don't feel like I'm entitled to anything and I don't think I'm better than anyone (unless you've proven time and time again that I am, in fact, better than you). Overall, I'm a really nice person. Yeah, I can be a bitch, but it takes a lot of shit from someone to get me to that point. I'm not perfect, nothing about me, my family, or my marriage is perfect. I might try really hard to get there, but I know I'm not. For someone to always act like that whatever is going on in their lives is far superior to what I'm going through, they can seriously go fuck themselves.
I'm honestly just tired of it at this point. Apparently, throughout life there's always going to be that one friend that, no matter what the circumstances, their situation, family, relationship, etc. is always better than yours. Most of the time, I just brush it off my shoulder and don't worry about it. I'm not getting into this contest. After so much of it, I'm pissed off and really upset about it.
Here's the first scenario:
My friend and I are walking through Best Buy because she's looking for a couple of CD's and movies. Well, I start looking, too and find the new Offspring CD. It was like $9. I was pretty excited about it and I made a passing comment (jokingly) that my husband would be so pissed that I got this CD. My friend looks at me and says, "Why? Because you're out spending all of his money?" All I could do was gape at her for a minute and then reply with, "No, because this is one of his favorite bands and I got the CD before he did." I was pissed off, but didn't say anything. I don't have to explain myself or my spending to any fucking body except my husband. We set up a budget and as long as I don't go over that we're good. For her to say that was completely uncalled for. So, not only is she judging me, but my husband as well.
It gets better...
She sends me a text the other night talking about how much she misses her husband and how she has nothing to look forward to (he just deployed). I tell her that I completely understand what she's going through. I've been going through a deployment since February. I tell her all she can do, at this point, is take it day by day and just look forward to the day that he gets back. I'm trying to be a good friend and give advice and be understanding, but nope, she doesn't take it. She sends a text back saying, "At least you know when your husband is supposed to be home. They didn't even give my husband a date to return. I have nothing to look forward to." First off, whatever orders he had before he deployed have a "return by no later than" date. Those orders keep them from keeping him over there longer than the duration he signed up for. See where I'm going with this? So, I try to tell her that. Nope, she's still not having it. "Things always change." Duh, it's the army. They will constantly change things just to fuck with you, but that date should give her hope because, either way, he won't be gone longer than that date. She just tries to pretend that I don't know what I'm talking about.
This just happened last night...
Someone asked me for my husband's unit. Well, I'll be honest, the part that matters, I can't remember. He changed units so many times that I never knew what it was. Not to mention, he never mentioned it. All I could remember was "something Bravo Battery" and my friend was just like, "Oh my God, you don't know your husband's unit? Oh, and battery, sweetie? Don't you mean company?" She was trying to make me look stupid in front of those people. So, I snapped. I was like, "No, you stupid bitch, he's artillery and it's called a battery not a company. I know my shit." She said, "Yeah, all except your husband's unit." I wanted to punch her in the throat. She kept telling those people that I just "got in" and didn't know a whole lot about the army. That's not the best part, then they ask me for my husband's social, "I said if you give me just a second I can give it to you." I had his dog tags hanging from my rear view mirror. There it was again, "Oh my God, you don't know your husband's social?" I'm sorry, but is that supposed to make or break my marriage? I don't know his unit or social and that automatically makes her a better wife than me? She kept attributing everything to my age like that actually makes a difference.
So, here's what I would have said if I wasn't such a nice person...
I've been married longer and I've been going through this deployment longer. I know what the fuck I'm talking about. I'm sorry that I didn't make my way around to many different soldiers inside the base before I finally settled down. My marriage isn't perfect and we fight tooth and nail sometimes, but you're marriage is so far from better than mine. Oh, your husband is going to be gone for two months? My husband's been gone for five and has two more to go. So, I don't want to hear how hard you have it. I might only be 19, but I've gone through a hell of a lot more than you did at 19. I started college, got married, dropped out of college, moved out of state and out of my comfort zone away from all of my family and friends, dealt with being unemployed, dealt with my husband switching units every other day, dealt with finding out if he was or was not going to deploy, dealt with him deploying, spent almost three months after he left confined to a bed because I made myself that sick, and have been and still are battling my depression which my doctor thinks I'm too young to be treated for. So, please, tell me again how fucking hard you have it, right now?