Sunday, 29 July 2012
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Not skinny enough?
So, last night I went out with my friend Katrina. It was a kind of upscale place, so we put on fancy dresses and made sure we looked pretty damn good. My dress was black with an open back and I went with silver jewelry and shoes. I thought I looked really good and the dress was amazing.
Now, I know that I'm not the tiniest thing, but I'm not ridiculously overweight either. You guys have seen pictures of me. You can vouch, right?
Well, I went with my friend Katrina to this bartending interview because they wanted her to come right before they closed. We got there and the guy is giving her his spiel about what he expects and how he runs his business and shit like that. He starts telling us about this new club he's about to open, so I ask him if he needs any waitresses. He turns and looks at and tells me that I would have to lose weight before he could let me be a waitress at his club.
By the time I walked out of there, I was in tears.
Whenever we were back in my car, Katrina asked me why I didn't say anything. I told her I didn't want to ruin her chances at getting a job. She was like, "You know what? Fuck that. If you had shown that you were not okay with it, I would have told that guy to fuck off and followed you right out."
I've never had someone look at me and tell me that I needed to lose weight. I don't think I've ever had someone make me feel that bad about myself since I was in middle school. I'm not skinny, but I'm not morbidly obese either. It just really hurt my feelings having this guy tell me I'm not skinny enough to be considered pretty enough to be a waitress at his club.
Another thing is, that guy doesn't know how hard I've been working to lose weight. That guy doesn't know the terrible things I say to myself because I'm not as skinny as I think I should be. I hate to think that maybe that was the trigger I needed. I'm not all about thinspo and I never have been, but having that guy say what he did to be makes me wonder if other people think the same thing when they look at me. That I'd be prettier if I were skinnier.
I felt awful about myself and I can't believe it.
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Comments (59)
What a prick. You are beautiful. You don't need to work for a disrespectful pig anyways. ♥
There are a million people out there that hate themselves and project onto people that make themselves vulnerable. I'm willing to bet this dude probably objectifies and harasses the waitresses he hires. Bottom line: You don't need to be any weight to do what you want in life. If your goals are to please pricks like these then even if you do succeed, you're not going to be happy with yourself. You need to find contentment in yourself if you're ever going to be happy in your own body.
I know this after being morbidly obese, developing an eating disorder and gaining a significant amount of weight back. You can't be pleased with yourself if you always try to measure up to anyone else's standards. Be you. Be beautiful you.
@kkrriiissyy - Thank you <3 I wish you could have heard some of the things this guy was saying. He was more than just a disrespectful pig, that's for sure.
@winterEnds - You are very right about that. Thank you so much. You said it perfectly.
asshole. my doctor told me i'm engineered to survive a famine. i didn't tell him to fuck off. i cried. but i'm getting a new doctor. you don't want to be a waitress for him anyhow.
that guy is a dick and you are a beauty. do you hear me?! A BEAUTY!!!
@promisesunshine - That is terrible! That's what I don't understand. How can a guy say something like that to a woman knowing it would hurt her feelings? It's definitely a good thing that you're getting another doctor.
@buddy71 - Thank you so much! You made my day! :)
@ShimmerBodyCream - That's what I kept trying to tell myself last night when we left. Thank you so much for the compliments! That guy was a prick just to be one.
@ItsAll_A_LoveWar - and then he had the nerve to say he didn't mean to make me cry. seriously, dude. have you ever met a woman?
nice post.
@EmilyandAtticus - I wholeheartedly agree with you. Before I read her post and just saw a photo of her in the black dress, I said, 'Wow!!!' Too bad I am 79 and married 56 years. lol
That guy is an idiot!!! This gal is hot. Really.
I am shocked that he would say something that cruel to her. He should have been attacked by all the women in there and thrown in the dumpster.
If that pic and your profile pic are accurate representations, you're beautiful and I'm not seeing a weight problem. I know there's no reason for you to believe me, but I really don't give dishonest compliments on-line for the sake of boosting a random person's self-esteem. You're pretty and that guy's a dickhead.
That quote is very true. There's a boy that I only remember because, to paraphrase, he said I wasn't attractive enough to cos-play as any Final Fantasy girl.
@ANVRSADDAY - You are awesome! :)
As for that guy, I'm guessing he spends a lot of time alone. Not exactly an appealing character!
You're gorgeous, and HE is going to end up alone using his hand for the rest of eternity. Fuck that guy, you're better than that!
That was pretty fucking shitty of him.
wow talk about a butt I will pray really hard that he puts on 300 pounds for being so rude and mean
wow, what an ass... I would definitely never work for someone like that.
@promisesunshine - I know, right? It's like they forget that particular part or something.
@EmilyandAtticus - He was ridiculous. The guy weighed almost 300 pounds. The only thing he had going for him was the fact that he owned the clubs. He wasn't even married. And thank you so much! I thought I looked great the night before and when he said that it made me think that I really didn't. That whole double standard needs to go right out the window.
@callmebabyangelcrazy8890 - Thank you. :)
@ANVRSADDAY - Haha. Thank you so much!
@VampireOfSeduction - Well, thank you so much. Guys who make you feel bad about yourself always seem to be remembered. That really sucks.
@PhoenixResilience - You are so right! Thank you! :)
@TroyEllison - I know, right?
@SisterMae - Lets add 300 pounds to the 300 pounds he already weighs. :P
@MyPublicSite - I wouldn't either after all that crap.
@ItsAll_A_LoveWar - Why did I know he was ugly? Can I call them or what? :) I am impressed you were able not to point that out to him. I would have. And yes you are gorgeous. :)
Damn girl you is a straight up badd bytch don't listen to that nigga.
@EmilyandAtticus - You did call it. :) I'm too nice about things like that. I wouldn't purposefully hurt someone's feelings like that. That's what makes that guy such an asshole.
@Mockdonimus_Tuntsweet - Haha. Thanks. :)
Guess what? Tell me the name of that place and I will post on my Yelp site for people to stay away. I have never patronized a place where only certain people were allowed to work, based on a false standard.
What a douce, that guy is. You ARE beautiful, no matter how much you weigh, and I think, judging from pictures, that you are quite attractive. Don't let people like that get you down, easier said than done, I know. He was out of line, when he said that to you. Its sad, that some people don't think before they speak and that they don't know a person, yet they judge them anyways. Coming from a guy, it's the heart and personality that matter most. Sadly, not all people feel that way. Hold your head up, and remember that you are a lovely, inside and out, lady! =)
@ItsAll_A_LoveWar - What was the restaurant/bar called, whatever the place was.